Let’s face the truth: There are some hurts that just don’t heal, ever. According to Psychology Today, one of those hurts is the death of a loved one. While I have not experienced death of a loved one, I have experienced loss.
I think the worst part about my loss is the fact that the person is still alive, and I have this fear of seeing them again — or maybe I just have a fear of facing past regrets, like things I wish I hadn’t said. And even though I’ve voiced these fears to people I love, they still haunt me in my sleep. My subconscious doesn’t let me forget.
But the truth I need to fully wrap my mind around is that God is sovereign. He let this happen. So, why? The answer is almost always to teach us: to grow our character, to lead us to a path that is within His plan for our lives.
Prayer helps. Worshiping Jesus helps. I think that’s why the Bible teaches us to filter our thoughts. As long as we’re on this dreary planet (which is NOT our home), we have to be on guard against Satan’s attacks and evil thoughts.
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)
Learning how to respond to really hard memories and experiences, and how to seek God in the midst of those, is healing to our soul. We can’t heal on our own. Time does nothing. But with God, all things are possible. When was the last time you brought your burdens to Jesus?
“Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” (Psalm 55:22)
Jesus doesn’t promise us a life without grief and heartache. He doesn’t promise a life of ease and perfection. But He does promise to give us supernatural peace when we pray to Him. He does promise to be there for us — He speaks to us through His Word. He has not left us completely alone and abandoned. He is very near to us; it’s us who forget about Him in the busyness of life.
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8-10)
Pain is what grows us. Pain is what reminds us we NEED a Savior. Pain tells us we are not capable of living this life alone — we need other Christians to surround us in prayer and we need to depend on Jesus. Contrary to what the world tells us, we are NOT meant to be self-sufficient and independent. That’s the opposite of what our grieving souls need.
No, until Jesus calls me home, I will suffer emotionally and physically, but I will not suffer alone. I have my Lord with me, I have my church with me, and I have my husband with me, on my side and praying with me.
It’s also not a sin to seek out therapy when you are grieving loss. In fact, my church started their own counseling center with the firm belief that therapy is necessary in order to be able to fully love and care for other people. Because when we are grieving in isolation, we can’t be a light for Christ in the world.
“No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house.” (Matthew 5:15)
We are meant to go out into the world and make a difference, so we must ensure we are taking care of ourselves so that we’re ready to go out and care for others. The question really is, do you trust Jesus to heal you? If so, what is He telling you to do to achieve that healing and thereby fulfill the great plans He has for you? I challenge you to spend some time in prayer and Scripture reading to seek Him for those answers.
“Lord, reveal to me any part of my heart that is not wholly devoted to you. Unveil all that I’ve hidden from you, heal me from it, convict me of it, and turn my eyes toward you so that I am not held back by sin. Propel me forward into all You have in store for me. Amen.”